First time buyer on Ebay

For someone who my friends said ‘planned their life over the web’ my first dabble on ebay would seem a little overdue. So why has it taken so long? I mean it has been going for over three years now. The answer? Simple. It’s just way to freaky.

Going to a normal auction is scary enough for me. For a start you to sit through hundreds of other bids before they even get to your item. You have to sit in tedium watching someone’s Aunt Sally’s china and slightly chipped old teapot go for thirteen pounds fifty to the lady at the front. Or even the 1957 framed picture of a donkey. Yes its true. Your rubbish is someone else’s treasure.

Even if you get past the old people, the of mistake of bidding for a wine decanter when you sneeze , paying twice as much as you would normally pay and the artificial winning feeling when you have won a bid, it’s still a safe bet. The auction house won’t run off, you get your goods as you pay and you get them that day.

Some say Ebay is perfect for masking the above misgivings. You can buy the best Take That CD without anyone actually knowing its you. You don’t have to sit in a room for five hours that’s smells of dying people. You don’t have to content with the delights that your local town has to offer. That gold leafed mirror might be suitable for Mrs Jones but maybe not terror away Johnny.

So its perfect. Well maybe not. For a start you have to rely on a picture that the seller has supplied. Just like submitting a picture into a matchmaker agency you are not going to put the worst picture on there. And then there’s the description. Completely unbiased. Of course. And then there are the emotional sales like this one from an Ebayer:-


"This auction is for a ring i bought my one time girl friend but she decided to cheat on me so i got rid of her and now the rings gotta go too.to the winning bidder i may even throw in her phone number cause the ring already fits her hand and im sure she do just about anyone..i just hope one of my friends dont buy it because lately shes hopping on them..so if your my friend please dont bid......it comes with a 2 year warranty and a grade card...i purchased it at zales and the warranty covers resizing and all of that..the ring is a three stone round brilliant diamond thats .11 carat the clarity is internally flawless and the symmetry is good...i paid 350 for the ring and the warranty......buyer pays 8 dollars shipping and handling "

When you have finally found something that looks genuine you decide to give it a go. The seller has good feedback. What can go wrong? Well first all you realise that if something is too cheap to be true, it probably is. An auction lasting 5 days will inevitably come to life precisely and hour before it is due to end. Then the rush will follow. All of a sudden people across the road will come out of the woodwork and start bidding against you. You are not just bidding against granny Margaret from down the world or Uncle Pete form the local shop. You are bidding against the world. And by the law of all sods there is always someone with more money than you out there.

After watching the computer screen like some religion in the last hour whilst constantly pressing the refresh button something shocking happens. You win the bid. Your buzz of achievement is quickly followed by a sense of trepidation. “Why didn’t anyone else want it?” or “Did I really need that cup holder?”.

Putting your fears aside you enter your payment details and click a button. Of course you have not just paid the price, you have paid that extra ten percent for posting. And then the waiting. How long should you wait until they deliver it? After two weeks of waiting you are starting to feel a bit restless. That email diarrhoea fanatic that was answering all your questions within two minutes prior to the sell now has suddenly forgotten to use their email. Time for a strong worded email. How does it go? Well it inevitably goes like this :-

Dear Jon

Look it’s been two weeks. Where the hell is my ‘Best of Take That’ cd? I’ve got an important party coming up and I need it now. If you don’t send it tomorrow I will report you to Ebay and give you negative feedback”

Of course not…..

Dear John,

Sorry to bother you. I am away on holiday next week and was wondering if you could give me an idea of when you may be sending the ‘Best of Take That’ CD I won on Ebay. The CD is not for me, it is a present for my little sister. It’s her birthday soon but if you cant post it next week then don’t worry.

So that’s. Just sit and wait. So what do you do in the meantime? That’s right. Start searching for your next item.