Christmas Eve, school reunited

The Last Post pub in Southend. It’s the official meeting point for people that I went to school with ten years ago at Southend High School. Every year I go back and certain thoughts will always enter into my head:-

1) Being surrounded my underage sixteen year old kids makes me say “Is it me, or do they look like fourteen year olds? I’m sure they start drinking younger ever year”. At that point a take a seat with a pint of Bitter amongst the cider drinkers, loosen my slippers, and adjust the buttons on my cardigan whilst observing the drunken antics of overly excitable Alco pop drinking youths.

2) My dad offers me a lift to the pub which is twenty miles away. I reject it and lecture him on how it’s not a good idea as he normally drinks on Christmas Eve. We then have a conversation with him saying “Yes, but back in my day in New Zealand you could drink drive all you wanted, there was no traffic”. Then I say to him “Look dad, that was thirty years ago, the only thing you could crash into was sheep, and the police officers were drunk themselves so they didn’t care. Anyway, you can’t drive in a straight line when you are sober, let alone after two shandies”. In the end I always drive myself.

3) I see people that have not changed at all since they were fifteen. A little less hair maybe, a bit chubbier, but, exactly the same.

4) We always say “We must keep in touch, however we all secretly know that keeping in touch means we will see each other at the same time, in the same pub, next year at Christmas Eve.

It’s the same with school reunions. The success of Friendsrenuited.com has created more and more retro get togethers. I tend to trawl through the site and crack the complex code that exists underneath the descriptions. For example take the following advert. It’s very cleaver, but the trick is reading in between the lines:-

“Hiya, good to see some familiar names up here talking about the good old days! After school, I set my own catering business. I married Susan last year (Yes, Suzie from year one!) and now we have just bought our own home. Looking after the two kids takes up most of my time, but it would be great to hear from you! Get in Touch. James”

Really means……………

After failing miserably at school (no thanks to you guys) I went on the dole for a year before getting my own burger stand selling wholesale food to the local industrial site and their rude workers. I married Susan last year, the one that everyone thought was a minger but did not have the guts to tell me to my face. We married last year after she accidentally got pregnant, by another man. We have separated but still share the same house with her new partner and their other child due to the high mortgage payments on the house. To be honest, I will be amazed if you email me, I don’t know why I have even registered on the site, it seemed like a good idea at the time. James (or pizza face as I was more commonly known)”

As we are standing in the pub, the memories will start to come back. And then they will fade, for another year.