Junk mail hits me again this year

Things were just working against me today. Firstly, when I turned on my phone this morning, I was bombarded with twenty five new text messages. Now I haven’t read any of them, my views on potential spam messaging is simple, spam is one big sham. Well actually I lied. I did read the first one, but I knew it was dodgy straight away. I didn’t have their number stored in my phone and it was signed off with ‘xx’, I didn’t realise the companies who used spam were that stupid as to remain anonymous.

To make matters worse, the door bell went off just before I was leaving for work. Now, I hadn’t ordered anything, I wasn’t expecting anything, so I decided to leave it at that. Unanswered.

And it didn’t get much better. I opened my email to see a cluster of red, unread emails. First there was spam on my phone, and now there was spam in my email. Just like my spam texts, I decided to read the first one. These things really piss me off. It was from a company which looked like ‘A D Mirer’. Didn’t really read much more, once again that had this ‘xx’ business at the bottom. Damn cheek. Wont even say who it was from.

Well, after a strange day, it was good to finally get through the door. Well nearly. The door jammed, extending only two feet wide. This was getting beyond a joke. I had to get down and manually push away the junk mail which was causing the door to jam. The ‘companies’ that were spamming my phone and mail box, were now spanning my letterbox. Where was it going to end?

It was not just the volume of spam, but the nature it. Now it seems they are going to incredible lengths to entice their victims to open the mail. It’s quite clever. It seemed they had actually employed someone to write my name and address in handwritten ink on the envelope. How long must that take! It seems it’s not just British companies that are doing this sophisticated trick. The stamps on these envelopes came from places like Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Thailand. This was really clever, as I had been to most of these countries recently, how did they know that? Or maybe these spam companies were getting these sent from abroad, they must be using different people to write on the envelopes as all the handwriting was different and it was inconsistent. Some had my post code on, others didn’t. Most had ‘Rich’ instead of Richard, now that was strange. Officially on bills my full name permits.

And another thing, all these envelopes were red. I felt like opening all these envelopes up and writing to the companies to tell them where to stick their junk mailing, but I thought better of that. They went straight in the bin.

I think I have solved it. Recently I was sent emails asking me to update my address and contact details for some of my friends online address book, I think it was called 'Bebo' or something. Maybe this company was responsible for all the junk mail? Maybe I should be a bit more careful in the future.

Okay, the final straw. Not only had these companies tried to trick me with red envelopes donned in girlie type handwriting, they had sent me junk parcels. Unbelievable. Do you really think I was going to go to the post office to collect my undelivered parcels anyway? There were six failed delivery cards. I looked at the first one. ‘Item 1223333452 was attempted to be delivered at 8.00am this morning, but the customer wasn’t in, a signature is required for delivery’. I was in at 8am and I never saw the postman, all goes to confirm that this was just a lot of junk mail, my rubbish bin was nearly full now.

So that was it, a day of junk. It’s funny, I had exactly the same experience this time last year. If it happens two days in a row I suppose I’ll do something about it, but for now the once a year pattern is pretty acceptable I guess.

One of the offending pieces of junk mail I got, straight in the bin, their tactics are really sickening