Friday Feeling in corporate world

Engrossed in the world of financial transactions, internal politics, personality clashes, project deadlines, stocks and shares speak and the all the blub, it’s hardly surprising that my mind starts to drift like a bottle in an ocean at times. In fact, the drifting bottle starts bobbing around on a force 12 induced wild ocean when it comes to meetings.

Somewhere along the line people in Business decided it would be a good idea to have lots of meetings, sometimes to discuss previous meetings, sometimes to prepare for future meetings.

Some people view meetings as a chore. I see them as an opportunity. Whilst my mind is drifting, I find myself enjoying a secret comedy show. Now of course when you go to a show that only you find funny, especially in a serious business context, it’s difficult to share this humour with others.

For some reason, I’m the only one that tends to pick up the innuendos that come out of peoples mouths, despite them being rather obvious at times. It’s as if I’m the only one with the innuendo radar that works. Maybe it’s my twisted, sometimes immature, sense of humour. Or maybe the others pick it up on their radars, it’s just maybe their display isn't set to public mode. Here are some examples of things that made me smile in the meeting today:-

“If I’m going down, I’m not going down alone”

All sorts of visions came into my head, on this one, I wiped away my smirk thinking about back dated financial transactional level information . It worked.

“I think we need to cover our arses”

This was not helped by the fact that I gave out a small giggle which I quickly managed to mask as a cough. The cough cum laugh cum snort also projected a sample of snot down my cold induced nose. I was forced into making a rash decision. Either pretend this never happened, stay focused and hope nobody saw this new facial addition, or quickly cover my face with my hand whilst scratching my forehead. I opted for the second option, and I’m happy to say, the attention was diverted.

“We don’t want to get into a pissing contest on this one”

With my recent urine sample exploits, I was thinking I would be pretty good at this one. Then everyone tuned over to the next page which brought me back into focus.

"We need to get her into a room and pin her down"

This could have been quite a good one, but then I realised who they were talking about. Ohhhh no. Moving on.

And then it was over. I walked over to the coffee machine to gain some sort of refreshment. It then occured to me that this was the place that people went to make private calls on their mobiles, you know the sort, personal ones, arranging job interviews without anyone knowing type ones. I felt like saying to this guy “Why are you standing there trying to make private and secretive calls when you are standing next to a coffee machine? It’s obvious that whilst waiting for the coffee to drop in the twenty second period, people will have nothing better to do than listen to your call”. Well I was going to say that, it’s just it sounded like he was on the phone to a job agency and I didn’t want to disturb him, apparently he has to give two months notice which may scupper his chances. Of course the machine dispensed the wrong type of coffee so I had to get another, by which time I learnt he could commute but he would prefer local work due to family issues. See, told you, it’s not the best place to have a ‘private call’.

The joys of working in an office. I can hardly wait for Monday.