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March 01, 2005

Things I’ve noticed at work this week……………

I don’t get the lift up to the third floor anymore. It seems I’m the only one that doesn’t. Maybe it’s my conscious effort to do exercise. Maybe it’s the fact that you seem to wait ages for a lift that never comes. Maybe it’s the forced silence, triggered by the personal space invasion. Maybe I’ve had enough of those guilty looks when someone says “I did press the up button” when the lift suddenly starts to drop.

Maybe I have got tired of the “no you go first, no after you” routine. Or maybe it’s the office whispers of lift failures causing twenty minute entrapments (I’ve already decided there is only a 2% chance of being stuck in a lift with someone I actually want to be stuck in with, and 100% of them work on the ground floor). Or most probably it’s my inability to cope with my unnerving ability to snigger when I’m not meant to. And I’m not talking about when a women asks me “are you going down” (they stopped doing that after I smiled too many times).

I had two cups of coffee in my hand, so I decided to take the lift. It seemed a good idea at the time, there was no one else there. I had it all to myself. Then the crowd came. It turned into one of those “oh, is there room for a small one” type situations as we crammed in the lift. Silence. Some people looked at their phones, some people looked at the walls, some people looked at their feet. First Floor, Second Floor, oh dear. Oh no. The silence was broken by Flatulence. Then the silence was worse than silence, everybody came the accused. My snigger broke the silence, a snigger that could be construed as a guilty snigger. I was biting my lip but I could see the victim, a deeper shade of red. I felt sorry for them. Okay, maybe I didn’t feel sorry for them.

The lift doors opened. Everyone scampered. I’ll be taking the stairs from now



I’ve also noticed.............

The huge amount of people coming in for interviews every day, sitting in reception first thing in the morning. Yes, the nervous ones. I don’t know what they have got to be nervous about. It’s not like my interview last year for the furniture store Ikea. Some people.


2 Comments:

  • At 5:33 pm, Blogger coops said…

    My 2% of the ground floor people are (if I'm being honest) a couple of girls I spotted who I just think would be nice (give off a good aura and all that). This would give me an ideal oppurtunity to strike up a conversation and proceed to check out my gut instincts........... or unintentionally freak them out by releasing wind, I could hardly blame anyone else like the red cheeked guy.

    p.s please list your random facts on your site so I can use them if I ever get stuck in the lift with the 2% people, I won't bother with the other 98% people, we can just stand in silence.

     
  • At 5:07 pm, Blogger coops said…

    Right, let me just think about I am going to do this, I've got the directions, I've got to get the boat via the East coast of Australia.... actually derrrrr, I'm so stupid, of course, I can't do it as it will need to be signed for at yor end, UPS only deliver week days.

    Actually Shit. My game is up. The photo makes out I'm the active outdoors type. Ok, it's not my boat. I don't even really like being on a boat that much. Maybe it's to do with the fact that my dad was a keen yaughtsmen in New Zealand, he tried to impress this hobby on me in England, but it did'nt failed miserably.

    Two sailing trips. Two sinkings.
    Never really been since since.

    I had four people supporting me in that pic cause I was so scared of falling off.

     

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