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November 14, 2004

Blogs huh?

I’ve been looking at a fair few blog’s recently and I’m still completely bemused as to why people write them. So I have tried to put them into categories to help me understand what it’s all about.

The started so I won’t finish blog

Yep these are good. Normally the person has decided it would be good to write a blog, maybe because they are bored, maybe their mate has got one. To be honest I don’t know and will save doing the psychological profiling for now. What is clear is they enjoy doing the fun bits, the profile, the design, the interest and hobbies. The tough bit it seems comes to actually doing some writing. At least it’s a start I suppose.

The ‘I went to the toilet’ blog

Yes, some people actually feel like sharing such detail with anyone who will read it. Okay maybe some people write such things in their paper diary, but to the masses? I can understand that some people like to be voyeuristic in a Truman Show respect so maybe people do care if Jane had two lumps of sugar in her coffee and had slightly stale milk on her cornflakes. Who knows?

The impressively designed makes yours look shit blog

Believe me there are lots of these out there. I’m not a jealous type, really, but sometimes I feel physically sick when I see how much talent people have got out there. From the artistic photos to the fancy effects, these people really take pride in their work. These are the sort of blogs in which you look at the code to try and understand how they did it, only to realise they have used some really good copyright techniques. It’s called make it incredibly complex so that simpletons like me won’t have a clue. I’m happy to say it worked.

The very strange and weird blog

You can tell these without even looking at the screen. That’s because your room has been filled with the most bizarre, axe murdering music you have ever heard. This can be replaced by Christmas type music, equally worrying. The title on these blogs normally goes something like ‘behind the face of a devil lover’ or something like that. I suppose it’s different.

Annoying blogs

First you get hit but some beeps and some 'yes/no’ buttons coming on your screen taunting you. “Do you want to update your internet explorer because this blog is so complicated your poor one won’t be able to handle it”. Every time you try and click back without clicking 'yes' or 'no' you get forced back onto the page. Why don’t I just click ‘no’ I hear you ask. Well I don’t trust yes and no buttons on the internet anymore.


Sex Blogs

Some bright spark thought ‘I know if I make it look like a blog, nobody well ever notice I’m trying to sell them enlarging pills, magazines, videos and sexy underwear. Yep, even the wonderful world of selling junk and spam has made it into the blogging world.

Selling stuff Blogs

Very subtle. But if you notice they don’t talk much about their day, their political views or their Aunt Sally. Strangely they have got links to insurance websites. Everyday. Insurance must figure heavily in their personal life I guess.

Poem Blogs

People who just write poems everyday. Do these people talk to other people in poems? I can just imagine them walking into a shop and getting some milk and making it into a poem like 'I'd like some butter, but I also need some flour for a cake, I don't care what make, for gods sake'. Of course I’m just bitter as I have not got a poem making bone in my body.

Good blogs

Quite a few out there, difficult to pigeon hole as they are unique, which in turn makes them so good.

People to be very worried about Blogs

These are dead give ways. Normally they can’t be imaginative enough to think of title, so they just write what their mates call them instead. These people have looked at other people’s blogs and tried to be creative, the problem being it is obvious they have been fiddling around in Paint Shop Pro too much. They have probably taken a picture of some bubbling mud pools in New Zealand and tried to make it look like a nice pattern for a header. These people normally try and make their Blog black and white on the whole so it looks a bit more arty. In general they will include a picture on their profile. A popular one is when they were Scuba diving to make them look active. The truth is that they nearly drowned in the water after one of their ‘friends’ made them laugh under the water. They normally put pictures on every blog entry to shift the attention of the user away from the words, avoiding the spotting of spelling mistakes.


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